Prachurya Bharadwaj,
M.tech, Yeungnam University
North Gyeongsan, South Korea.
Every single book, holy or religious or mythological, written in any part of the world, covers few valuable lessons for women of that region and era. Whether we read the Greek mythology or our own Hindu scriptures or the Middle Eastern religious teachings, they all regard women as the weaker, most vulnerable and miserable section of the society. It is not only theses books that have such teachings but even we are being taught by our mothers and grandmothers that if one is a man one is supposed to be the protector and survivor in any situation. If you are a man, you should bring the bacon to the table. If you are the man, you should be the provider for your family. So, naturally, if you are the woman, you need not actually provide. You can just lie down and be a good pleasing toy for your man. You should wear jewelry and should be of extreme calm and decent nature. You should not speak without being spoken to. If most of you could take a quick jog back in your memory lanes, a popular (in fact extensively used) dialogue could be heard in every 60s-90s Hindi/Regional language Indian movie “the silence in a girl is her yes to marriage”. I have NO idea how that can be even remotely correct. Another common scene-the hero asks the father for the heroine’s “hand” for marriage and she gently slides out of sight smiling shyly. This is a big mystery to me. The first situation is awfully funny and derogatory towards women because it shows how voiceless the society turns women into. The second situation is like some extraordinarily wrong thing to expect. The concept of girls being “shy” and society expecting them to be “shy” is what is wrong with us.
Feminism is often misunderstood by the ordinary people. Feminists for me are not people trying to create a world where there are no men. Rather they are people who are bold enough to understand that this planet is for humans which include women too. In simple layman’s understanding, feminism is about giving importance to the idea of being a woman. Why is it so important? Imagine your mother or sister or any woman for that matter, being looked at lustily by every man on the street. The answer shall lie within.
Feminism more or less revolves around the idea of abolishing subjugation and objectification of women and the age old traditional remarks of being a woman like to be silent, to keep your hair long and comb it well, to keep your waist in a proper size, to be a good mother, to be a good wife-in short, to be an “ideal female” character in the society.
There have been so many cases of rape and assault recorded everyday that people have stopped paying much attention to such news anymore. Fathers and brothers (who are originally supposed to be “protectors”), would rather want their daughters and sisters to wear a blanket all over than actually go and do something to make this world a little better place to live in.
Studies show that subjugation of women is the most in Asian cultures whether it is Indian, Chinese or Japanese or Korean. Every Asian culture till date has thin boundaries for women not to cross. The concept of being a good mother is so idolized in these cultures that people can
hardly make out where they are going wrong. When you are a woman your natural primal instincts would force you to surrender your entire life to your children and family, leaving you completely desolated and dishonored once your children grow up and they don’t need you anymore. So you would be one among millions of other women out there who proved to be “great” mothers by burning up every inch of energy to raise a child who will probably not even bother to think of you as somebody who needs the same amount of care. What if you are not a “great” mother in that conventional way? What if you teach your child independence and prove to be a role model by working and bringing home a larger bacon? What if you teach your kid to worship real women and not mythical clay idols? You would probably be considered one of those women who spoil their kid by being “modern” in thoughts. Then there comes another question- “is being modern so bad?” A great parent is one who listens to his/her child’s problems. A great listener is a great learner. You learn more about your child everyday and in turn can modify his/her thoughts. The bigger question is “why only women?” Why do only women have to sacrifice their whole life? Why cannot a man take equal responsibility of the child and why is the father a signature totem of fear to the child? The moment a person starts thinking these out-of-the-box questions and tries to find answers, he/she takes the ‘road not taken’ towards feminism.
We live in a society where A+ students are applauded and considered highly gifted and somewhat extraordinary, an education system that is only concerned with the exterior grades in a piece of paper, that never goes deep into the student’s ability to learn from experience and a culture has never educated its children for generations about the importance of equality of both sexes. We however can change. We can bring up our sons to be adored and not hated by women. We can prevent our daughters from being simply the bride. No harm done, just little bit of wisdom added to our thoughts and most importantly, ignore the ones that consider this trace of modernism as evil. We can make slight changes in our beliefs and there we go! Change starts from within, after all!
